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  Mal looked fascinated. “Your parents were in a triad…with an incubus?”

  “That’s what I think,” said Jessica. “And I…I guess I’m his daughter. Only I really don’t think my parents know that part. If they thought I might have demon blood, I’m sure they would have warned me and tried to protect me. Maybe they never knew he was an incubus or maybe they’re convinced that my human father sired me, but…” She smiled and shrugged. “At least I don’t think there was any scandal to it…no lying or cheating.”

  Mal looked thoughtful. After a while, he said, “If Azrael’s books had more stories like that, I might not fall asleep.”

  Jessica reached out and patted his hand. “There can be a happy ending for you, Mal.”

  “Of course there can. It’s the one where I devour my master and go home.”

  Jessica shook her head. “What happens to me when you do that?”

  “Well, hopefully I’ll have taught you enough to survive in this sad little three-dimensional world.” Mal hesitated. “Do you want to join our entity on the astral plane? I think earth-born demons can, although I don’t know how exactly.”

  That sounds terrible. “I don’t want to join any entity,” snapped Jessica. She felt suddenly heavy. What am I doing here? “I want a happy ending, Mal.”

  He stared back at her, bewildered. “I gave you my name.”

  Jessica shut her eyes. And maybe that means “I love you” in demon, but that’s not how we say it in human.

  She remembered Azrael’s words. “He isn’t quite like a person.”

  Jessica let out her breath. The day had been long and perplexing and wonderful and heartbreaking. I can’t think about this anymore right now. “We should probably start walking back to the ridge. It’ll be sunset before long.”

  Mal yawned. “Azrael has probably found ten ways to kill that bear by now.”

  Chapter 36. Your Mistake

  Maybe Azrael had found ten ways to kill the bear, but it wasn’t apparent as they came up the slope from town in the fading light. Azrael was sitting cross-legged on the grass in front of the bear, the salt circle between them. He’d rendered it immobile again, and he sat staring at it so intently that he didn’t seem to hear Jessica and Mal coming up. He jumped when Mal dropped a paper sack beside him. “Hungry, Boss? We brought you mutton.”

  “It’s not real,” said Azrael without looking at it.

  “Yes, but it will feel real until we get out of the book.”

  “It’s also not very good.”

  “Well, that’s a fact.”

  “Did you learn what you needed to learn about the bear?” asked Jessica.

  Azrael sighed and stood up. “I’ve figured out how to dispatch this one. If the bear in the Shadow Lands was made in the same way, I can use the same things on it.”

  “You don’t sound quite pleased,” observed Mal.

  “I’m not. There’s something different about this one.”

  “When at first you don’t succeed, keep trying until it bites you in half.”

  “Your advice is noted,” said Azrael. “Do you want your magic back?”

  Mal perked up. Without being asked, he melted into the panther, clothes returning to fur and claws and, Jessica supposed, ear wax. He started to pace around the salt circle, looking at the bear from every angle.

  Azrael waved a hand. “Don’t actually go in there. It’s got my blood; it could hurt you.”

  Jessica watched in fascination as Azrael plucked a hair from his own head, cupped his hands around it, and whispered into them. When he opened his hands, he was holding a small glowing yellow ball.

  He said another word, louder, and the bear came to life, roaring. It charged at Mal, who seemed to have every confidence in Azrael’s salt circle, because he just stood there, twitching his ears and looking interested as the bear flung itself at him. Azrael whistled to get the beast’s attention. When it turned towards him, he tossed the glowing ball. The bear seized the object, shook it savagely, and swallowed. Azrael waited for a long beat and then said a final word—softer this time and somehow darker, like a funeral bell.

  The bear exploded, flying apart in every direction. Almost immediately, the pieces began to look less like living flesh, changing into stringy masses of blue light that glowed in the dusk. Mal leapt after them. Azrael was still murmuring, the air vibrating like a plucked harp string. The pieces of the bear were morphing into doves—hundreds of them, limned in blue light.

  Mal chased them madly, catching them in his mouth and gobbling them down. The doves scattered before him in rippling waves, not flying away like real doves, but sometimes fluttering high in the air.

  Azrael backed up to stand beside Jessica. “There’s nothing he enjoys more than tearing apart my magic. Well, except tearing apart me.” He said this with a smile, as though there were nothing strange about having a friend who wanted to kill him.

  Mal had completely given himself over to his feline instincts. He leapt high into the air after the doves, his long body uncoiling to slap them down. He was at once beautiful and comical, and Jessica could not help laughing. One of the doves fluttered over the cliff and Mal gave a thwarted whine. Azrael threw out his hand, and a glowing tile appeared. Mal didn’t hesitate, but jumped out onto it, and Azrael tossed them ahead of him—one, two, three, until he caught the dove. Mal bounded back, the tiles disappearing behind him.

  Jessica glanced at Azrael sidelong. You and Mal are both showing off right now…for me?

  When the last magical dove had been consumed, Azrael said, “Well, we started with two horses, but one of them was frightened away by some lunatic. Jessica, do you mind riding with me on the way back?”

  “Not at all.”

  So, she got up behind him on the black horse, which was exactly where she’d left it beside the stream. The stars were coming out, and Jessica asked uneasily, “How long until the wolves?” The race up the mountain had been exhilarating, but she hoped they did not need to race back down in the dark.

  “Not until moonrise,” said Azrael. “We’ve got time.”

  They followed the path back over the top of the hill, Mal gliding ahead of them. Jessica was gripping the horse hard with her knees, her arms on Azrael’s shoulders, trying not to invade his personal space. However, as they started down the slope—bumpier and in deeper shadow—she gave up and put her arms around his waist. He didn’t seem at all bothered, although his body didn’t conform to hers, either—very straight and whipcord taut.

  Jessica thought she understood some of Mal’s frustration. Azrael was an ivory tower—utterly self-possessed, impenetrable. You could touch him, but never touch him. If I’d spent years at his side, I’d want to topple him, too…even if he wasn’t siphoning my magic.

  Out of the darkness ahead, Mal’s voice said suddenly, “Did I used to sleep in your bed?”

  Azrael hesitated. “For a little while when I first summoned you…when I had a bed.”

  “Why did you make me stop?”

  Azrael’s voice turned caustic. “Guess.”

  A long silence. “I don’t remember.” Mal sounded almost plaintive.

  “I know you don’t,” said Azrael more quietly.

  “Did you alter my memories?”

  “No. I’m not sure I could do that without altering my own. You don’t remember because you weren’t entirely yourself back then. Human beings don’t remember their first few years of life, either.”

  “But, that’s— I’m not—!” Mal sputtered into silence. “Am I myself now?” He sounded genuinely curious.

  “I like to think so.” After a moment, Azrael continued, “Run on ahead, Mal. I want to speak to Jessica for a moment.”

  Jessica could imagine Mal’s anxiety at this statement, but he said nothing, only whisked away down the dark trail. Jessica wondered whether Azrael had discovered her secret. She felt at once anxious and relieved. However, all he said was, “You’re handling all of this very well.”

  “I do
n’t know about that, my lord.”

  Azrael turned to look at her out of the corner of one eye. “If it’s too much, tell me. I’ll send you home. No questions asked. You’ll get the money, even though you haven’t stayed the whole tenure. If you like, I’ll make you forget him.”

  Jessica was stunned. I could go home? Right now? “Thank you, my lord. I— I would have to think about that. I do like Mal, truly.”

  “He is very easy to like,” said Azrael.

  He’s very easy to love, you mean.

  “But,” Jessica searched for words, “there’s a lot here to understand. You’ll forgive me if I haven’t entirely formed an opinion yet.”

  Azrael nodded. “I realize that having me present for these outings is something of a trial.”

  Jessica laughed. “You are not a trial, Lord Azrael. Never think it. I do wish Mal would not threaten to kill you so often.”

  “Oh, that’s normal. If he threatens to kill anyone else, please tell me.”

  Jessica bit her lip and said nothing. The stars had grown bright overhead and the air was chilly. She was suddenly glad they were riding double. Jessica wrapped her arms a little tighter around Azrael’s waist and rested her cheek against the back of his neck. He smelled of grass and a clean, sharp scent that Jessica had come to associate with magic.

  Azrael tensed up, and Jessica said, “Forgive me, my lord; I am not trying to be overfamiliar. Constant threats do not seem normal to me. I really don’t want him to hurt you.”

  A long silence. Finally, Azrael said, “This thing between Mal and me is nothing for you to worry about, Miss Jessica. That is not why I brought you here. It’s a problem you did not create and cannot solve.”

  Jessica nodded.

  “In all likelihood,” continued Azrael, “this will play out exactly as my textbooks say. At some point I will make a mistake—probably something small—and Mal will kill me. I accepted this when I summoned him, and I accepted it doubly when I decided to keep him beyond the usual dates of service. My attempts to humanize him will very likely not succeed.”

  Jessica felt miserable. You think you’re just asking me to spend time with him, to let him have good sex with me and talk to him. You don’t understand that he’s put me in the middle of everything…that your problems really have become my problems.

  I am your mistake.

  “What is your desired outcome, my lord?” asked Jessica suddenly. “If your textbooks are wrong, what do you hope will happen?”

  Another pause. At last, Azrael said, “I hesitate to talk to you about this because I’m afraid you will tell Mal.”

  “You’re afraid he’ll fake it?”

  Azrael nodded. “I’m afraid that he will show me what I want to see, and that my desire for it to be true will blind me.”

  They rode for a while in silence. Azrael had relaxed a little. Jessica liked his warmth through the satin of his jacket. She resisted the urge to run her fingers back and forth over the fabric. “Do you think he will ever be tame enough to release?”

  Azrael shook his head. “Perhaps that day will come, but I can’t imagine how I would make the decision. He’s too clever, too manipulative.”

  Jessica was puzzled. “Then what is this all for?”

  “My mistake, Jessica,” said Azrael wearily. “When I finally make that mistake he’s been waiting for…then I’ll know if I succeeded.”

  Chapter 37. Unsolvable

  Jessica thought about Azrael’s words often in the weeks that followed. Sometimes they gave her comfort. At other times, she argued with him in her head.

  Meanwhile, their outings continued. Every three or four days, she would receive an invitation, often pinned to appropriate clothes. They rode horses through winter woods—Azrael seemed to love horses—and watched Mal bound through the snow, snapping at flakes. They visited a city full of maze-like streets and byzantine politics, where the markets overflowed with colorful flowers and delicious foods and improbable creatures. They hunted ancient gazelle on windy steppes with a pack of talking dire wolves. They swam in crystalline tropical rivers beneath double suns.

  Jessica and Mal made love beside fires, in luxurious boudoirs, in mountain hot springs, and once in the sitting room of Azrael’s apartments. Azrael accompanied them each time, but he always managed to get work done—spells tested or created, correspondence written, textbooks and histories read and annotated, languages studied and practiced. Jessica didn’t think the man had ever heard of a day off.

  Occasionally, she asked, “Have you made any progress with your necromancer, my lord?”

  “No,” was all he ever said.

  Mal didn’t know anything about the situation with the necromancer, either. “He hasn’t gone after that bear yet. Something about it has him spooked. I don’t think he’s heard about any more deaths in Solaria for a while, and he’s hoping the necromancer has succumbed to his own magic. They do that sometimes. Just like sorcerers.”

  In between their adventures, Jessica continued to learn with her cohort as they studied the etiquette and pastimes of various other kingdoms. It was an easy sort of learning. There were never any tests, unless social events with actual representatives from these locations counted. Jessica wasn’t the only person who frequently went missing, and nobody questioned her disappearances.

  Tod still seemed worried about her, although she assured him that she had the situation under control. He stayed for breakfast in her room more often than not, and occasionally they had a romp before going their separate ways for the morning. Jessica managed to avoid putting him on sick leave again. Her control over her powers continued to improve.

  It was a good thing that Tod was willing to continue climbing into bed with her because Jessica noticed that she received no further assignments to entertain visitors. Azrael probably thinks Mal is wearing me out. Sometimes he did, too. But that just means I need to replenish the energy somewhere else.

  And all the while, Azrael’s words continued to spin through her head:

  “You did not create this problem, and you cannot solve it.”

  “I’ll send you home. No questions asked. If you like, I’ll make you forget him.”

  The last part turned her stomach. How could I ever forget him? At the same time, she wondered what possible future she could have with Mal. As much as she loved their adventures to improbable places, she knew she didn’t want to live on the Shrouded Isle forever. She certainly didn’t want to see Mal kill Azrael and commit a kind of suicide. This was, as Azrael pointed out, the most likely end to their story.

  Jessica wanted to solve it for them. But Azrael is right. That’s not something I can do. She had no idea how to release Mal and no real confidence that he would spare his master if she did.

  On every single outing, Jessica considered taking Azrael aside and telling him about her condition. But something always stopped her—Mal’s pleading or her own doubts. She felt certain that her confession would end their affair and get Mal, at least, into serious trouble. Azrael might punish her as well, most likely by taking the whole experience away from her. While Jessica could contemplate an end to their romance, she could not bear the thought of losing her memories of it.

  At last, she began to consider a third option. What if I just tell Azrael that loving Mal is too hard, and I’d like to go home, but I want to keep my memories? I don’t have to tell him about me. No one gets into trouble.

  So you’ll run away? whispered a voice in her head.

  But these aren’t my problems! insisted Jessica. I could go looking for my birth father. He might be able to teach me what I need to know about being a succubus…probably better than Mal if my father is an earth-born demon. Surely without all of Mal’s machinations.

  She felt certain that Mal was engaged in machinations, even though he seemed genuinely fond of her. But does he love me? Can he?

  Jessica tried to tell herself that she couldn’t possibly be in love with him, either, that a few months was too soon. But she
found her own arguments unconvincing. I feel what I feel, she thought miserably. I’m growing quite attached to both of them. But that’s a reason to leave, not to stay. The longer I stay, the more it will hurt in the end.

  Jessica was sitting in the library one afternoon with Yuli, reading, when Jessica burst out, “If you could go home right now with all the usual gifts, would you?”

  Yuli looked up from her papers in surprise. “I don’t know. Why do you ask?”

  Jessica stared down at the page in front of her, unseeing.

  “Are you alright?” ventured Yuli. “That man you’ve been running around with…I hear stories about him.”

  Jessica smiled. I’m sure you do. “But would you?” she persisted. “Would you go home?”

  Yuli thought about it. “Well…yes, I think I would.”

  Jessica looked at her searchingly. “And you wouldn’t miss all this?”

  Yuli smiled. “Maybe a little. But this is all…kind of fake, right? I mean, it’s amazing. But it exists to put powerful people in a frame of mind to be…agreeable, right? To be generous and listen to good advice.”

  It exists to feed Mal, thought Jessica, but Yuli was right, too, in a way.

  “I don’t mind being part of it for a while,” said Yuli, “but I want a life in the real world.”

  Jessica leaned forward. “What are you going to do when you get home?”

  Yuli beamed. “I’m going to use the money from my time here to open a bookshop. I’ve already made all the plans.”

  “That sounds lovely,” said Jessica.

  “Then I’m going to marry Terrance Pimbrook,” continued Yuli happily.

  Jessica cocked her head. “Your boyfriend from back home?”

  “Yes.”

  “Won’t he be…intimidated, knowing you were here?”

  Yuli waved her hand. “Oh, I doubt it. He’s had plenty of experience of his own.” She gave an impish grin. “And besides, I’ve learned some things he’ll like.”

  Jessica laughed.

  “What about you?” asked Yuli. “What are you going to do when you get home?”